“Sometimes it is not much fun to be the teacher when kids are not safe. It makes me think about trying a different kind of job where the people I work with will be safe,” I announced one particular day early in the school year a few years ago.
Valerie, a student in first grade, piped up, “Well, what kind of a job could you get?”
It was clear that Valerie had little faith that I was cut out for anything else but teaching by the way her voice rose when she got to the word “you“. I thought to myself for a minute and wondered the exact same thing. What the hell kind of a job could I get? It isn’t like I am skilled in any areas. I have only taught and waited on tables. I did have a short stint in telemarketing in high school, but that was dismal.
“Maybe I could work at Target. I like the pens and markers they have. I could work in the office supplies section. I also love some TV shows. I could help sell TV sets or something.”
“Nah, you better just stick around here. We are going to need you to help with these kids who aren’t behaving.”
Then a boy announced, “Whatever you do, don’t take the gas station job. Those are the worst!”
“Oh? Why do you say that?”
He scooted closer to me and cupped his right hand around his mouth to report, “They don’t make much money. You should take the Subway sandwich shop job. You like to go there for lunch.”
“Hmm, good idea. I will have to think about that.”
The entire day was spent with helpful insights from some of the kids about what kind of job they thought I should get. As the class worked in their writing folders, one student offered that I could be a pilot. Valerie overhead the suggestion and said, “No. You wouldn’t be any good at that job. It is too hard for you.” Valerie’s dad was a pilot.
“Why do you say that?”
“It is too hard for you. Sometimes you have to drive the airplane past midnight. You wouldn’t be good at that job. The zoo would be the best place for you to work.”
Another boy interrupted, “You could get a job in a hotel. You’d make a lot of money there.”
“Oh?”
Valerie was an expert on everything. She offered, “No, you don’t want that job. You have to clean up after people. Sometimes they have babies and they bring them with them. They put their diapers in the garbage can. You don’t want to clean those up.”
A girl swung her head around and said, “You could be a taxi driver. There is a song about it. I don’t know it, but I know there is a song about being a taxi driver.”
Valerie thought that maybe the best job for me would be to be a ferry boat driver. She explained that I would be able to see whales and fish and “stuff” when I drove the boat.
Yet another student suggested that I work at the Starbucks at the Seattle-Tacoma airport. Valerie said, “No, don’t work at the airport Starbucks. If you work at Starbucks, work at the one in downtown Seattle. There is more money there.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that,” I replied.
David walked by and was chanting, “QFC! QFC! Work at QFC!” QFC is a grocery store in the Seattle area. I thought he wanted me to work at Subway. Why the change of heart?
Ellen offered one last suggestion: “You could be a dancer for Britney Spears.” The class burst out in laughter. I was confident I would not be good at that job. The entire effort to help McGowan decide on a new career was interrupted when I heard Janie cry out, “Mr. McGowan, Jim is going to put his booger finger on me!”
Oh boy, here we go.
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