Just Keep it Standing~

Not too long ago a colleague told me about her divorce which transpired over twenty years ago.  At the time she was worried about being able to afford staying in her home, the upkeep and unforeseen expenses that crop up with home ownership.  She told me the best advice she received from a friend at the time of the divorce in regard to her home was to “Just Keep it Standing.”

While the advice was applied to my colleague’s fear of managing a home independently I look back on my own life and recall situations that I could have used a mantra such as “Just Keep it Standing.”  “It” being whatever is under tremendous pressure to survive and thrive. One time in particular I was the “it” that needed to be kept standing.  There was a time when I was blue beyond comparison. I am not man enough to lay out the situation that brought about this peculiar and unwelcome intense feeling that ripped the life out of me.  So, just think in general terms. Further, I know men aren’t supposed to talk about feeling blue. Wait!  Perhaps a strong case could be made that I am not even a man, but just for the sake of discussion…  Have you ever had the blues with deafening intensity?  This is the kind where your body and heart ache and you can’t see the forest because of the trees (and wouldn’t it be nice to read something, just once, where the writer had a better analogy than some old saying that has been around for a million years?  Yah, I think so too.) 

During the height of the blues it was almost as if I had to remind myself to breathe. (Sounds impossible, eh?) I would catch myself in the exhaled position and then gasp a bit to take in a breath because I was so consumed with sadness that it was as if my body didn’t remember to keep that involuntary act going on its own. 

Looking back I can see that I employed many strategies to “Just Keep it Standing,”  though I didn’t know that’s what I was doing. –

It happens in an instant, or so it seems.  My gregarious exterior simply turned itself off.  Gone, vanished, vamoose, in-hiding, on hiatus, nowhere to be found.  “Just Keep it Standing.” 

Sleep becomes your greatest friend, comfort and past-time.  “Just Keep it Standing.” 

 You smile trying to fake yourself out.  (Never been a fan of Fake it ‘till You Make It.  Probably because I can get consumed in the here and now and can’t remove myself from the intensity of a situation to even entertain such a venture.)  “Just Keep it Standing.” 

You long for someone to step in and take over….anyone…. (Well, not anyone.  I mean, I wouldn’t want the bus driver on the Seattle 358 route to take over for me, but someone who is trustworthy that you know…) ….You just need someone to pick up where you left off and carry you without having to explain…..Someone who can run the day-to-day routines of your life. Sometimes they come, which is a relief, but what if you don’t accept the help they offer because of pride?  How can you “Just Keep it Standing”? – You can’t.

When the pain seems greater than you can manage this one piece of advice seems to bring focus to the situation.  “Just Keep it Standing.” If you can somehow remind yourself to just do what it takes to make it through the next day…. hour….. minutes… then you will have employed this strategy.  Though the whole of the situation may seem greater than you could even imagine all you really have to do is...... “Just Keep it Standing.”