Airports and I

Sometimes it simply hits you on an idle Saturday afternoon.  “It”  being where you are and how far you have come.  Other times the proverbial “it” is how far you yet have to go.   Airports always have this effect on me.  (I am sitting in an airport as I write this.)

  Maybe it is all of the hurrying up to wait that brings on this personal time to reflect on your life.  Whatever the case, I am sitting here at Gate A8 looking out the window on the tarmac remembering past experiences and evaluating if I have really come all that far or if I am only imagining growth.  It can be difficult, though……. Difficult to reflect on the past, that is, with so many rich opportunities to judge in the present.  Take for example the man who just walked by and didn’t notice me.  He had his hand way up in his crack trying to get his skivvies out.  He wasn’t as sly as he thought he was.  I was just out of his line of vision, but he was fully within mine.  Do I thank him for reminding me that we all are vulnerable from time to time or just pretend I would never do anything like that?

Then it hits me…..How many times have I thought I was out of sight when acting in ways that were terribly inappropriate and even embarrassing?  Dare I say hundreds or even thousands?  Instantly I re-evaluate how far I have really come as I alluded to in the opening of this post. Sometimes I did things in such an outlandish way with no effort to conceal them.  For example,  Take the time I made a huge scene at the Volvo dealer when the new car I bought wasn’t running like it was new and I was irritated beyond belief.  I quickly calm myself writing this lapse in better judgment off as an unfortunate side effect of my age (twenty-eight at the time).  Surely most twenty-eight year olds are ego centric and pound on the counter at the service station when their brand new car sputters and spews black smoke, don’t they?

I also sit here and consider the countless times I have blown people off mid-sentence not fully listening to what they have to say because I had already made up my mind that I was right and they simply weren’t at a place to recognize it yet.  That one isn’t as easily attributed to age, as it is still a near every day experience for me in my late thirties.

So, maybe the issue isn’t about identifying how far you have come or how far you have yet to go.  Maybe it is simply about being mindful of what your weaknesses are and at the very least attempting to catch yourself the next time you start down the road with some of this less than stellar behavior.  Yes, Yes, that’s what it is. (I convince myself of this in a Bat-Man minute).  So, As I close this post I am head strong that I will at the very least make an effort to stop myself when I employ some of these selfish behaviors that have been around for quite some time.  Let’s see how it goes.  

Oh, Good news!  Someone just walked by wearing a pink polka dot skirt, winter boots, a parka and baseball cap.  – I can’t give up making fun of people… yet. That is simply beyond the scope of what is reasonable to expect from someone like me just yet….. That will be when I am 40 and beyond.  So……. just a few more years to cram in as much fun making as possible.  Gotta go- Gotta find out if the Polka Dot Princess will be on my flight.